the ending starts with a blue moon.

second chances? quite possibly. i take seconds whenever something's good. and i think there's more good hidden underneath this extra 20 lbs i've gained in the past 20 months. i'm setting a new standard for myself, presumably. what can i say? no smokes = much, much more yum. and yum! it was. looking forward to a slimmer stacey in the future.

discoveries from 2009? i am stronger than i've wanted to be. i'll persevere regardless of my circumstances - but mostly regardless of my expectations. self-sustaining, it's a bitch. wait, what? my mother beat cancer's ass. what else is more important? not anything. my best friend is one tough woman. she really is.

change is sincere as it is sweet. and this sweetness ain't a substitution. i am looking forward to 2010. the "tenz" as i call 'em. catchy? obviously. and i can't stop james blunt from singin' and makin' my day. it's a keeper. at least i think so.

i watched 500 days of summer today. um, awesome. i don't normally "um," but i find it appropriate in this case. it broke my heart in a way that was bearable. real. accurate. i think.

so i'm giving december a chance. i am convinced next month is going to be amazing and totally surpass december; however, i am giving it a last, screaming chance: amaze me! i love when i am given the opportunity to appropriately semicolon. on that note...

...please, remember me
as in the dream
we had as rug-burned babies
among the fallen trees
and fast asleep
aside the lions and the ladies
that called you what you like
and even might
give a gift for your behavior
a fleeting chance to see
a trapeze
swing as high as any savior...

i'll let iron & wine make my night tonight.
pick your happiness and it'll make yours.

xxoo stacey (r.i.p. the stacey of 2009)